Online HIV dating is different from other normal dating ways, since you do not know any things about the people at the other end of network. So How to know when you meet the right person? Here is my tips:
My first advise is to google the guy, if he is a millionaire (for example) most likely you’ll find some information on him on the web.
If he jumps to talk of sex on the first phone call chances are hes looking to get laid and not for a serious relationship, if he is divorced ask him how long its been since the divorce was final- if he starts on a rampage of how much of a bitch his exis- hes not over it. ( sex with herpes)
If he calls you a gold digger- remind him that the name of the site is Millionaire Match and if he is so concerned about women cheating him out of money maybe he should try a different site. BTW- if you are a gold digger chances are you wont find what you are looking for on this site anyway. ( rich men dating sites )
On the occasion I do make the trip to see if there is the right balance of chemistry, compatibility and drive to make a long distance relationship work, I have a few hard and fast rules I never stray from;
He pays for the ticket, if I’m going to travel he should be just as invested in meeting. I wont do lay overs (that’s just a personal thing, but when traveling alone you don’t want to risk being stuck in another city or have to spend 12 hours traveling to meet this man)
You have control of the ticket information and can change the return flight to an earlier (or later, that’s never been the case for me but who knows) flight.
He sends me his home address (usually you can verify this online through the county site he resides in) , his place of work or the name of the company he owns (again you can confirm this online typically), work and cell numbers and email address, a brand new pic with him at work or in his home.- Then be sure to give all of that information to a close family member or friend, call often to check in with that person and let them know where you are staying, when you get to a restaurant excuse yourself and text or call to let that person know where you are, if you go to a club- same thing- keep someone informed about where you are.
He pays for a private (meaning only you are staying the night) hotel room- get the confirmation information and make sure you are the only one who has key card access, use the bolt at night.
Lets be honest here- you don’t know this guy and its going to be your first date, do you really want to be getting ready in his home?? Also you are making it clear that sex is not to be expected, of course what ever you do is up to you but let it be your choice. No one needs to travel across the country to have sex he shouldn’t expect it to happen just because he paid for your expenses .
You can play this one by ear, but be very careful about going to his home alone on the first visit, if you do, excuse yourself go outside and call a family member with the address you get off the house.
Keep your drink with you at all times, in your hand or in your sight, if you go to the bathroom take it with you, if he thinks that’s strange- who cares- its not worth getting dossed!
Make sure you have some cash on you for any emergencies, and a credit card in case you need to use it for anything that may come up.
As far as the date goes; my policy is that the man pays, I’m old fashioned that way, I don’t expect any shopping sprees, but I do expect to have the door opened for me, my chair pulled out and for him to be respectful of me. When he asks me where I want to go, I always say its your town you pick (he picks he pays) I never order expensive bottles of Champagne or wine, I leave that up to my date. I never drink more than two cocktails, its unattractive to get drunk on a first date and you are not as in control when you are intoxicated. If he drinks too much, don’t let him drive- at least don’t get in the car with him.
Most importantly, trust your instincts, if you feel unsafe or uncomfortable just leave, get a cab and go back to the hotel, women’s intuition is a powerful thing, don’t let your feelings of having to be polite over ride any strong gut feelings that something is not right with the situation.
Lastly, make the most of your visit- even if the guy is a jerk you can always go site seeing alone or do something fun, you packed a bag, spent a lot of time traveling to get there at least get something out of it!
I know this may sound negative, that’s not my intent, I am simply offering my personal advise to ensure as much as you can that while searching for love of whatever you are in search of) that you don’t get hurt in the process.
If the man is a stand up guy he will understand and not be offended by your actions. If he gets offended, ask him what he would want his daughter to do if she were to go visit a man she was interested in getting to know but didn’t really know at all? (it doesn’t matter if he has a daughter or not, the point will come across).
Don’t let paranoia keep you from having a great time but use common sense. If its meant to be, taking things a little bit slowly wont hurt that from happening. If it’s not the right fit, don’t feel obligated to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Go for it girls, but be in control! Good luck to you all and I hope this helps keep you safe and gives you the confidence to take a leap and travel to meet someone you feel might be “the one”.