Living with HIV calls for strength and positivity. Only the strong hearted are able to accept their status and work towards starting all over again facing the daily challenges that come with being HIV positive. After the acceptance phase, it is natural that you might have the urge to plunge back into the dating world for a fulfilling flirt, date or true love.
HIV positive dating is akin to gambling. So in order to become an expert and win the jackpot it is important you learn to play the game seriously. Sure bluffing will win you a few hands here and there, but if you want to win the ultimate prize, then it is important that you learn to play well on a consistent basis rather than faking it.
First and to some extent second dates are for getting to know each other better. This is one of the reasons why dating at beginning is such fun; whilst at the same time, is pure torture. Before any relationship can develop it is imperative that the two individuals get to know each other well and determine whether they feel they have enough in common or like each other significantly enough to continue seeing each other. For the very reason it is vital that the person who attends these first dates whilst HIV dating is the real you. What is the use in pretending to be someone you are not – the other person may like this other you and then you will both end up hurt and disappointed.
HIV positive dating should be fun, so first and second dates should definitely be so. However, it is important not to see these dates as too big a deal. For when you start to blow them up, you increase the chances of messing things up.
Obviously, you may suffer with some nerves. You would not be normal if you did not. To combat these take some deep breathes. For some however, the only way to calm down is to take a small stiff drink, as the alcohol has a composing effect. Should you decide to take a drink, ensure it is only one and that you suck a mint to take away the odour. You do not want your date smelling the alcohol, on your breath. It is possible they get the wrong idea about you.
Other HIV positive dating tips to enhance your first date experiences include:
- Take your date somewhere, which has enough background music or distraction to aid in uncomfortable silences. Make sure however, that it only aids and does not drown out your conversations.
- Do not go anywhere where you are likely to bump into people you know. This is not the time to show your date off, these first dates should be a time for just the two of you.
- Try to work out where to go in advance and have a backup plan as well! This avoids any embarrassing ‘I hate that’ or not knowing what to do moments.
- If things are going well, try and introduce some personal physical contact between the two of you; take their arm, or elbow, whilst walking, put your hand on their arm. A physical connection will make things easier later and will tell you a lot about how that other person feels.
Remember first dates when HIV positive dating are just like poker and are all about getting to know new people. When dealt a new hand in poker sometimes you will not want to get to know this hand and you will throw this bad deal away. However, on other occasions you will be dealt a great hand and follow through all the rounds feeling happier and surer that you are going to win. HIV dating is similar, and by ensuring you play fairly and give a true picture of yourself, you will find that you soon find someone who makes you feel as if you have won the jackpot.